1. Take out a big bowl. Put flour in bowl. Add in water and egg. (make sure you crack egg first and do not put eggshell into batter. Dispose of eggshell.) *Since you are not capable of using a blender, You can't! You might hurt yourself!, you must stir with a wooden spoon.* Stir until batter is smooth, and *do not splatter batter everywhere.* *CAREFULLY*, use a knife to dice onion and chop vegetables. *And remember to watch that you don't cut yourself!* Add onion and vegetable to batter. Stir. Add in a dash of spices.

*Yeah! You made it through step 1! You aren't as dumb and clumsy as you seem!*

2. Put oil into pan. Place pan on stove. Turn stove onto high heat. *Don't burn yourself!* Cut chicken into thin, one inch strips. *The knife is really sharp, so make sure when you cut the meat that your fingers aren't near the blade!* Allow oil to heat. *It is hot, and you can get burned if it gets onto your skin, use caution!* Place chicken into pan and cook until meat is well done.

*Keep up the good work! I think you just may be almost as smart as my pet chimpanzee!*

3. Add product of step 1 to batter from step 2. Pour batter into pan. *Don't spill any...* You may flip the okonamiyaki when the underside is a light golden brown. *I SAID _LIGHT BROWN_, NOT CHARCOAL BLACK!* Cook the otherside until done.

4. Take cooked okonamiyaki out of pan and put onto plate. Divide it into slices. *SLICES, _NOT_ crumbs!* Pour on a small amount of soy sauce. *You better not screw up and put on too much...* Eat and enjoy!